If we go back to January or February of 2020, life was “normal” and dating was the usual hot mess. You were hitting the trifecta – trying to connect with people when you’re out, on the dating apps or meeting people through introductions from other people you know. Insert two years of a pandemic, and now dating is weird, harder than it was before, still confusing and more exhausting. Whether you’ve thrown in the towel or aren’t quite sure what you want, let’s look at a few reasons why you might not be into dating.
Why Dating Is Weird(er) Now
Everything is weird. It is still possible to test positive for the COVID-19 virus even if you are vaccinated and double boosted. You’re still wearing a mask and drying out your skin from handwashing. There are 17 different variants and as of this date, there is now a monkeypox outbreak. #TooMuch. When you have to figure out how to just keep yourself in a bubble and feel protected, the thought of “connecting” with someone else isn’t a priority.
We’ve Been in the House
We’re out now but we have been inside or separate more in the past two years than ever before. We’re intelligent human beings and we do great things but it’s totally normal to feel lost on how to behave now. The game has changed. How we used to operate and approach socializing is just not the same.
Trust is Damaged
We’ve been navigating a pandemic, an election, more egregious racial injustices, reproductive rights being taken away and now on the verge of economic collapse – again. When you feel uncertain and unclear about your social environment or political climate, it trickles down. Naturally your thoughts go to what you can and can’t count on. If you’re second-guessing your day-to-day reality and uncertain how life will look, trying to trust another person is a no-go. Outside of the typical health-related concerns about STD’s or STI’s, what precautions do they take (if any)? Will they respect my boundaries and preferences? What does safety mean to them?
You can choose to live your best single life without dating. That’s a win. But if you’re a single human and wanting to date, let’s talk about a few ways to make the dating experience slightly less taxing. You know I love a game plan so let’s get it.
It’s Not About the Other Person
Read that again. Before you get stuck on the merry-go-round of why dating isn’t working right now, check your reasons for dating. “Just because” is fine but you still need a plan. Find your “why” – your specific reason for dating right now. And be honest. If you’re approaching it with “just because” energy your outcomes are not likely to be positive.
Please Stop Ignoring the Flags
If your instincts are picking up on something now, it’s not going to change. No matter how many times you see them, how much effort you put into and how you much grace you give them. Pausing when the flag comes up doesn’t make you or them a bad person, it means you’re acknowledging your boundaries and putting yourself first. You can choose not to move forward or proceed with serious caution but do so INTENTIONALLY.
A lot of ’em. All the time. Consistently. And pay attention to the answers. Do they align with who you are? Do the answers make sense to you? Are you genuinely interested in wanting to know more? Observe how many questions they ask you. Do they seem genuinely interested in you specifically and wanting to get to know who you are? More on this at the end.
There’s no guarantees and no magic formula to make dating successful. But we can make sure you are more prepared and armed with the information you need to have a better quality dating experience – on your terms.
If any of this resonates with you, no worries. Grab my FREE Dating Cheat Sheet and put some solutions in place right away. Still needing to heal old wounds before you can move forward with dating or a new relationship? Grab my pre-relationship journal here.